A little bit of everything

I have to be honest:  my body is confused.  The weather says football season, but my ears haven't heard one single, "It's football time in Tennessee!"  There's no one wearing orange.  (They're all wearing purple.  Royal purple.  For those of you who do not know, this is the one color I despise.  I am no Millsaps Major, nor am I a Furman Paladine.  Roll, roll, roll, roll lynx cats roll on!!)  No one's talkin' about the Kiffin Klan's first season as head coach and defensive coordinator, and no one has the slightest idea of who is Phil Fulmer.  I just have one question:  What do you mean it's fall and there's no football?

I knew when I signed on for this adventure that certain sacrifices must be made, but this one's a toughie.  My parents, however, are really cute and slipped a pen in my luggage that plays Rocky Top when you click the clicker, so that makes things a little easier.  I keep that pen close at hand (as opposed to any other part of my body I write with?) and click that clicker whenever I'm feeling a little homesick.  

So in Uruguay, there's futbol but no football, which is okay.  As previously mentioned, the fans are fanatics.  They are so crazy that the two sections dividing opposing teams in the Estadio Centenario have to be blocked off and lined with policia.  Otherwise, someone might get killed.  Also, unlike wholesome Rocky Top, I cannot share with you any of the futbol fight songs because they all involve the most obscene phrases I have ever heard, including every combination of cuss words imaginable and always involving the very private parts of your mother.  And everyone sings these songs.  I was shocked to hear a boy of no more than 7 years old shouting these things and wondered if he knew what he was saying.  I feel like, if a little boy shouted such things in Neyland Stadium, the nearest parent would probably take him straight to the bathroom and wash his mouth out with soap...Ah, cultural differences.

I just realized that most of my posts have involved futbol, and I feel like I need to say a few things to address this issue.  First of all, if you didn't realize how important futbol is to Uruguay (and all of Latin America for that matter), hopefully you will now.  Futbol is life.  Secondly, I have done other stuff, and I will elaborate...now. 

I haven't written anything lately because  1) I was off having an adventure for the Week of Tourism (for Uruguayans) or Holy Week (for me), and 2) the last 2 times I tried to update my blog were spent trying to upload a video...obviously, to no avail. Very disappointing.  Anyway, Uruguay, being an increasingly non-religious country, has stopped calling Holy Week la Semana Santa and has opted instead to call it la Semana de Turismo.  Uruguay is already a very low-key country, but it basically dies except for tourist cities during this week because everyone is off work and out of school...for a whole week!!  This is not the case in Argentina, Chile or Brazil.  Just Uruguay.  Lucky me!

I know I'm not gonna have any other long breaks while the weather is still good, so I wanted to make the most of it.  I went with some friends from church to Paysandu for Beer Week, which is basically a family-oriented festival where they happen to sell delicious beer.  I drank organic lager and rode the ferris wheel, but not in that order.  There was also live music every night.  Of the 2 nights I was there, 1 night was jazz & blues and the other was folk.  Good beer + good music = good times.

From Paysandu, we went to Salto to the hot springs (las termas) where we camped and floated about in las termas.  Camping was great!  Explaining giant roasted marshmellows, however, is kind of a challenge.  

Everyone has seen it done in "Hollywood," but they think it's disgusting because they have no concept of the texture, consistency, flavor or magical deliciousness of a roasted mallow.  There is no food in Uruguay that remotely resembles a marshmellow except this chocolate puff that's filled with a type of merengue.  Not the same.  Sidenote:  marshmellows are not the only food that does not exist in this country.  My next post will therefore be a list of all the sacrifices I am making/wish list/suggestions for any and all care packages.  

As for the rest of the adventure: rented a car, drove to Argentina, got stopped at several random military police check points, got the registration stolen, drove back to check point to ask for the registration, didn't have enough money to bribe it back and were thus threatened with jail time, filed a police report, drove 12 hours to Paraguay/Brazil/Argentina border to Iguazu.  2 days at Las Cataratas, drove back through Argentina, paid a small fee (coima) to the military police (gendarmeria) and finally made it back to Uruguay on Easter!  It was crazy but totally worth it!  Now I have to go to Niagara Falls to see how it compares to Las Cataratas.   Who's comin' with me!?

 

Also, before my battery dies, I just got back from the regional Rotary conference.  That'll be my next post, so get excited!  HA!  Love y'all!

Trouble Fitting In

This weekend I went to my friend's house in Solymar about 45 minutes outside MVD.  It was HOT and Lorena's house is about 6 blocks from a beautiful beach, so our afternoon plan was clear: we were headed for the beach!  Unfortunately for me, I forgot my bathing suit (malla de baño).  Unfortunately also for me, Lorena has 2 suits.  I wouldn't call what I wore a thong, but I would call it uncomfortably revealing.  My booty has never been so bare on the beach before!  It was a full moon on the beach at 2 in the afternoon!  Needless to say, I was a little embarrassed and, thus, tanned only my front side that day.  Naturally, Lorena's whole family laughed at my apparent discomfort and teased me affectionately for being so conservative.  I am admittedly pretty conservative with what I wear and always have been.  BUTT, it's experiences like this one that make me question why.  It's also adventures like this that make me appreciate the great differences between Uruguayan and American culture.

Lorena's family loves to tease me, and I would expect nothing less.  They have always been wonderful to me, and I am grateful to have met them.  There's a lot of joking, loud talking and eating as a family at their house, so I fit in we

ll (although I still probably talk the loudest) and feel comfortable there.  The family is big, ranging in ages from 3 to 60.  Add 5 dogs, 4 cats, 2 birds and a couple of bottles of whiskey and you'll begin to understand the chaos of this house, but I love it!  We've done a couple of delicious asados, and I got to try sweet morcilla for the first time.  I had only eaten salty morcilla in Spain, which is good, but the sweet version is super tasty! 

Also, the other day they gave me my very own mate.  This is a very personal gift, and I wouldn't want for it to have come from anyone else.  I love my mate!  With my new mate in hand, you would never know that I'm an American in Uruguay (until I open my mouth, of course, and my gringo accent comes spewing out).  Therefore, the only problem I have fitting in in this country is into the bathing suit bottoms!

Manya Mayhem!

Yesterday my only post was the video of my first Peñarol (Carbonero, Manya) game against Independiente Medellín (Colombia) in February.  I couldn't write anything because it literally took me 2 hours and the life of my battery to upload the video.  If you're wondering why I haven't posted more pictures or any other videos, there's your answer.   I request that you please watch that video at least once daily until I come home to make it worth the time spent making it available to you.  In the video, the fans are singing "sos gallina!" (you're a chicken/coward!), which is the typical insult they use for their biggest rival, the National team of Uruguay (Nacional).  The enormous blow-up animal bouncing around is la gallina.  

The first time I went to the stadium (estadio), I sat in the regular people section.  But this past weekend I took a break from the sterilization of my new apartment to go sit in the crazy people section.  This made me slightly nervous because the last time I went to the stadium several fights broke out, and I later learned there was a stabbing.  As a result, the crazy people section has its own gate with loads of cops (policia) making sure people don't bring in big guns and big knives.  Apparently, fireworks and flares are permissible.  Once you enter this section you cannot go anywhere else, nor can the normal people come in because it's blocked off by high walls and barbed wire.  I thought this was a little over the top until I saw how many people climb over the walls and the barbed wire to yell obscenities at the refs and throw toilet paper on the field.  I can only imagine the chaos if the crazies were allowed free reign.  

Peñarol played terribly against Defensor (another Uruguayan team), losing 0-1 this weekend, so we left a few minutes early to avoid any drama.  This turned out to be an excellent idea as several fights broke out as the crazies began to vacate the stadium.  6 cops were injured as well as 4 cop cars, and 10 "Carboneros" (Peñarol fans, also called Manyas...pronounced Manshas with the Uruguayan accent) were arrested.  An 11 year old boy wearing Defensor purple was injured when a group including women and children was attacked.  For a more detailed account of the chaos, go here.  Uruguayans take their soccer very seriously.

After the game, I went back to cleaning my filthy apartment.  I have seen 4 dead cockroaches (cucarachas) and 3 live ones, which means I have seen 7 dead cockroaches.  One of the live ones was the grandaddy of all cockroaches.  I don't do cockroaches.  Raid is my new bff.  Some may say that having 7 cockroaches in a week is not a problem, but I have read that having more than 7 alcoholic drinks per week is considered to be a problem.  So I'm applying that logic here.  Regardless, having any cockroaches per week is a problem for me.  Also, I thought my fear of spiders had diminished until I was sitting on my balcony this morning eating breakfast.  I thought I saw a spider come down from the ceiling and jumped so high that I threw my coffee 6 feet in all directions!  Luckily, I had the door open and managed to douse my white leather couch and the white wall.  I have great aim.  Turns out, the little ball of dust floating in the air was not a spider, and I was safe.   (Side note:  If it had been a spider, I would not have killed it.  I do not kill God's creatures, especially the ones that eat other bugs.  Cockroaches, however, are a different story.  Silverfish are also a different story.  I do not believe God, a supreme and pristine being, created such yucky bugs. If you disagree, too bad.  This is my blog.)

At this point, I think it would be appropriate to make it clear that nothing posted on this website represents the official opinion of the Maryville Rotary Club or Rotary International. Everything written here is strictly my personal opinion. 

Anyway, despite having a few cockroaches, no gas (yet...I have to wait for a carpenter to come cut my front door...) and a leaky kitchen sink, my apartment is still awesome.  Classes started on Monday, and I'm about a 30 second walk from my building, maybe less.  When we have a break, I get to go to my apartment to use the bathroom with toilet paper, wash my hands with soap and dry them with a towel!  It's incredible.  By the way, I'm in McDonald's using the free WiFi again, and I will never knock Micky D's again because it's the only place in Uruguay where you are guaranteed to have toilet paper and soap in the bathroom.  If you come visit me, bring hand gel or a rockin' immune system.  It doesn't seem to bother anyone here that they go to the bathroom without washing their hands and then touch their money and then the hand rail on the bus (omnibus) and then they eat pizza and lick their fingers...and then they want to share a mate with you.  And you have to drink out of the same straw because there's only one, and it's totally rude to refuse.  My friends here kind of make fun of me for being "re Americana" (really American) and washing my hands all the time.  Being a germaphobe in Latin America is just silly. 

My computer battery is now dying, so I must go.  McDonald's may have free WiFi, toilet paper, soap, good napkins and great service, but it does not have anywhere to plug in my computer.  I couldn't figure out why there are no outlets anywhere until I realized they don't use machines to clean their floors.  I was thinking, where do they plug in the vacuum cleaner, but they do it the old fashioned way, with brooms and dust pans and mops and stuff.  Crazy.  It's little things like that which remind me every day that I am not in the United States of America.  And praise Jesus for that because I love Uruguay!    

Attention K-Mart Shoppers!

It's the end of the summer, which means it's time for summer sales (¡Liquidaciones!). Some stuff in this country is super cheap, and that includes all things Talbots and Route 66. Hollar at your girl if you're interested and I'll head over to the not-so-fancy mall (aka the bus station) and pick you up anything your heart desires. So much for culture shock, right?

Ok, that is a lie. I am definitely experiencing something. I don't know if it's culture shock or big city shock, but it manifests itself at bizarre times and usually results in me mustering every bit of self-control (which is not much, let's be honest) to keep my opinions to myself. In times of great discomfort, I find myself desiring to calm my nerves with a vanilla latte from Starbucks (go on, judge me!) while scratching my puppy's head, but neither exists in this country. I must, therefore, practice deep breaths and remember what Karen has been trying to teach me about considering uncomfortable situations an opportunity to practice my self-control. I've been good so far, but it's hard sometimes when people keep touching me! I never realized how American I am until I found myself pulling away from people I'm talking with because everytime they want to tell me something, they grab me...and by grab I mean touch me affectionately. But I am not accustomed to this! I believe that has been the phrase I have repeated most in this country. But it's cool because I still love it here, and I aspire to become warmer and more patient while I'm Uruguay. I would also like to take this time to tell you all thank you for loving me despite these flaws of mine.

After just 5 weeks here, I think I'm already becoming more Uruguayan. I walk tons every day. I walked more than 12 miles yesterday! My legs are in pretty good shape, just like other Uruguayans who walk everywhere, but now I blend in even better because I still haven't lost all the weight I gained eating partially cooked fried chicken and rice with mayonnaise at Olga's. I've got what you might call a pooch (panza, in Spanish), so you can just call me Muffin-top Murphy. Rotary told me to become immersed in the culture, so that's what Muffy is doing! Dulce de leche is my partner in crime. If you have never experienced the joy that is dulce de leche, never fear, I'm gonna bring home a big vat of it! Now that I think of it, I've been running just about every day (and I even joined the YMCA here!), so I probably worked off that fried food long ago. My panza is 100% dulce de leche! I'm about to go to my first Rotaract meeting, where there is sure to be a cornucopia of dulce de leche delights!

Before I go, I have one last important update. Mom, don't freak out but I'm moving into my own apartment in 2 weeks! I'm super stoked! It's literally half a block from my university, half a block from the National Library, a block and a half from the Y (la Asociación Cristiana de Jóvenes: ACJ) and, as the real estate agent was so kind to point out to this gringuita, McDonald's is right across the street! I've got a chair in the living room that becomes a twin bed and a fancy white leather couch just waiting for all those who are planning to visit! Also, my kitchen table chairs are leopard print. Soooo, see you soon? I love my apartment, but I don't have internet, so I can't tell y'all to expect daily posts once I move in. Lame, I know. This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be!

I'm having a hard time uploading images today. I think it's because there are a lot of people in the internet café (cyber, in Uruguayan) right now and they're bogging down the system (sistema). I'll post a plethora of pictures soon, I promise! As always, I miss you all and love you! Don't take for granted your hot showers, long phone calls, poop-free sidewalks, email access, salt & pepper (together, as they should be), insulated walls, double-paned windows and fitted sheets! I hope y'all are all having a lovely winter. As for me, I went to the beach in Punta del Este last week and I'm going to the beach in Montevideo this weekend! LOVE YOU!

Yours truly,

Muffy

Also, if I don't post anything tomorrow, I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER ROGERS! I love you, miss!

My OoroogwI!

Querido lector (Dear reader), welcome to Uruguay! I know I have been telling you all for some time that I would be leaving America North and heading for America South, and I expect that many people began to doubt this would actually happen. But I'm here...for real. I'm not exactly sure what you are expecting, but be prepared to learn some español! I can't guarantee that everything I write will make sense because I have a tendency to leave out very important details when explaining anything either verbally or in writing. Sooo, if you have any questions, just ask! You can post comments to which I will happily respond. I may not be Gabriel García Márquez or Isabel Allende, but what I lack in eloquence and tact, I make up for in honesty and sincerity. I hope y'all enjoy what I have to say, and I'll try to post as often as possible.

First and foremost, let's get one thing straight. Uruguay. This country is not Yourahgway. Do not offend me. It's OoroogwI. Practice it. OoroogwI. OoroogwIIIII! Y'all, I love this little country. It's about the size of the state of Georgia (Johanna & Chrissie HOLLAAA!) with roughly the population of Los Angeles (¡Eva!)...in the whole country! There are not quite 3.5 million people in Uruguay, and about half of them live in the capital of Montevideo (which is where I also reside). Also, there are more cows than people...and more dog poo, too. If you would like more information about Uruguay, go here.


I have been here for 3 weeks and am settling in just fine. Tomorrow is my last day of some much needed language lessons. I really needed to brush up on my grammar before I started graduate school at la Universidad de la República in March. I've been living with a family, Olga (49), Bruno (14) and Angelina Jolie (2). Angelina likes to hide under the couch and attack my legs when I walk by. She surprises me every dang time! Also, I've already gotten to know all of the Rotarians of my club, albeit informally. My host counselor, Sara (she is the best!), took me to the fancy mall to meet everyone and drink whiskey on the rocks and eat chivitos, which are delicious and fat free! Especially the bacon and mayonnaise. Then we went to a pagan festival to watch people in white linen dance around candles in holes they dug in the beach (la playa) while they poked and prodded each other in an effort to cleanse and heal their spirits. They also made little white boats full of offerings of chocolate, incense and letters to the goddess of the sea. We didn't feel like being healed or robbed that night, so we went for a beer. They wanted coffee, I wanted to sleep, so we all drank beer. I was concerned about not having a good beer to drink, but when it's 90+ degrees and 90% humidity, if the beer is cold, it is good.

I have so much more to report about Carnaval, Peñarol, my trip to Buenos Aires and service work I hope to become involved with, but it's time for dinner! I need to put some calories in my body because I'm going dancing with Olga and her friends tonight. She told me we are leaving the house around 12:30am and will come home sometime around 6! She's wild. I don't know if I can hang. I don't know what I'm going to be eating for dinner, but it usually consists of some sort of fried meat and a heaping portion of some starch and something resembling Tang to drink. I had hardly eaten anything green since I'd been here until I requested a salad. This means I get a half a head of lettuce with a tomato. It's cool. Whatev.

I'm supposed to be moving out of Olga's this Saturday, and I'm not exactly sure where I'll be going. Is that a compelling reason to keep reading my blog? I think so!

Miss y'all!